Excuses, excuses.

The honest reason as to why I am writing this blog today in this unbearably hot weather is because I hate abandoning things. I like to continue the things I start, and if I don’t, I feel somewhat disappointed in myself. I also thought that instead of studying for a test tomorrow I should find an excuse to take up my time and study later because I seriously can’t be bothered memorising pages of information in this sickening heat. In other words, I’m using my blog to avoid work and basically because I feel sorry for it.

Wow. Swimming sucks. When it’s a hot day, yeah it’s great to get wet. But not when you have to be instructed by a bitch. Ha-ha yeah, belly flops are totally hilarious aren’t they? Even more when you’ve done it 3 times with the instructor mocking you. I guess doing laps isn’t so bad; I’d just like a little freaking break in between so I don’t drown from exhaustion. Going back to school on the bus was a fail for me. The only good part of the bus trip was where we got out and went home. Lucky me! I got to sit on a bus wheel the whole ride back! Yes. A bus wheel. Well half of it anyway. Not only did it make me hotter, but it killed my ass. Overall I have to say, the best bit of the day was when I got home to realise I had sunburn. My bad.

Note to self: Get/fake some sort of weird disease to avoid swim school.

Toodles.

Ridiculous.

My head is in a state of depression right now. I have lost one of my diamond earrings. –My parents are unknowing & normal, whilst I am quietly freaking out. What do I do? I’ve looked for them everywhere. The guilt is immense and ripping my soul apart. My favourite earrings are now lost & unwearable. I’m on a secret mission to find it. I mean that earring has to be here somewhere right?

Waking up at 2am isn’t exactly great is it? No. But waking up at 2am with a spider on you is just absolutely fantastic. Not only did I scream, but after trying to get it off of myself, I flicked it somewhere – and... I didn’t exactly know where that somewhere was. So I spent about half an hour worrying it was going to come back – not exactly thrilled to see me – and attack me. I know I’m such an idiot... but I also know that spiders bite, and I wasn’t ready to die. –Well you know what I mean. Yeah, I’m probably going to get a lot of crap from people mocking me and asking why I chose Outdoor Ed if I can’t handle spiders. Well because I like the outdoors... that and I completely forgot about the bug situation while picking the subject.

You know how I “love” visual arts... well it just got a whole lot worse. We have a one thousand word essay to do on some woman named Margaret Preston. Like we don’t already have enough work. Anyway, you may have seen the Angelina Jolie artwork I did on the massive canvas... yeah it turns out that it had been hanging on the principal’s office wall. Like what the freak? Did I give her permission to steal my painting for her own enjoyment? NO. Its worse enough she had it, (We got my painting back so it could be in the art exhibition with all these magnificent artworks the year 9VA class has done) but now she actually wants to MEET ME. All I know is she isn’t keeping it –Unless she would like to give me 1,000 bucks. That’s not the actual value, but for her – I’m happy to raise it.

Yes, that's my artwork above.

Toodles.

Just a little sarcasm.

Why does life challenge us ? If things were free and obstacles were no longer a matter, wouldn't life be better.. ? I'd imagine a care-free, totally relaxing world where anything can happen. Apparently there's no such thing. Everything we do just has to have a catch. It's like - 'Buy one, get two free !' ..Then you read the fine print.. 'Only if you're a complete doosh who believes in this kinda shit'. OH JOY. D:

Keeping on the sarcastic tone ~ i just absolutely loveee visual arts right now. It's the best subject in the world. I love the large amounts of theory work we get. I love the way everything is so complicated and confusing. I love eeeeverything about it ! :D No, not really. Dammit, i thought it'd be easy.. just drawing.. just painting. I was so very wrong. :/

Ohhh you know what else i really love ? Chores. I love doing them every week to satisfy my parents. You know i even count down the days 'til i have to do them, they're that exciting ! Buht you know what i love most of all ? Doing the dishes for no reason. It's awesome how my parents make me do the dishes even though we have a DISHWASHER. Seriously.. it's great. :)

You may be thinking What's she got stuck uhp her ass? Well nothing. I just thought it would be rather interesting to let you all know how much somethings suck. WOOO ! ;D Buht of course, you would have all experienced something like that before. Anyway, now that i have everything out of my head, imma relax. That is of course, if my brother shuts up. LOL.

Toodles.

Patience

Yeah i know i haven't posted anything in a while buuht that's because of how much stupid freaaking homework and assignments i've had. Especially sorry to Alice. o:

As you grow up you realise you can't get everything you want. You suddenly have to earn things. You have to keep up to a standard to avoid disappointment. You also have to make decisions which play massive roles in life. They can be hard, but they may pay off in the end.

No matter how bad you want it, it's not going to happen any quicker or any easier. You have to learn to be patient. You have to work hard at something in order for it to grow or turn into something more. It could take one hell of a journey, buuht it just might lead you in the perfect direction.

It may not be alot, but that's all i have to say for now. Thanks for reading;
Toodles.

Happiness.

First of all, I'd like to give a special mention to a very good friend of mine - Alice. Whatever the problem, whatever the time, she would be there willing to listen and help. She is especially good at making me laugh 'til i cry. She's one of the nicest, awesomest, and bestest people i know. :D Alice will always be a best mate of mine and always one of the coolest. ;)

Woah. Today was the most extremely awkward day. My mum decided to pick me up because my brother stayed home sick. As i get in the car and say hello, we drove off. Not even half way home.. my mum randomly asks "Sooo.. do you have a boyfriend?" I replied "Noo..." -awkward silence- So she asks "Well do you like anybody?" I replied "uhhm no." Then she said "Liar.." I roll my eyes and say "Whatever."
Meanwhile, I'm thinking.. WTH?! Why now anyway? She probably planned it so i would have never suspected it. *shifty eyes*

You will never be happier than you expect. To change your happiness, change your expectation.
-Bette Davis
Finding happiness is like finding yourself. You don't find happiness, you make happiness. You choose happiness. Self-actualization is a process of discovering who you are, who you want to be and paving the way to happiness by doing what brings YOU the most meaning and contentment to your life over the long run.
-David Leonhardt
True happiness is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
-Helen Keller
Yeah i thought I'd look up happiness. I don't know why.. i just did. (:

Ever had those moments where you start laughing or smiling for 'no apparent reason'? I love them. When they happen to me, I'd usually be remembering something nice or funny someone said to me. Then someone will ruin that happy moment with a "Dude.. you feeling OK? It's exactly like when that pretty music is playing, then it suddenly stops and you realise you looked like a total retard. D:

Anyways, I'm getting really tired. *yawn*
I was suppose to be doing my geography assignment, but it was really hard.. so after about an hour of TRYING to look for information i gave up. I bet I'm going to epically fail this assignment. LOOL.
Toodles.

Weird, yet Wonderful.

I'd like to share this song with you. You see, I'm writing this blog whilst listening to it. It's the kind of song that gives you tingles. It's the kind of song that lets you sit back, relax, let everything out and think.. or at least try. It's meaningful. It's calm. It's beautiful. Now press play. Enjoy.

Three, two, one; read.

I seriously just want to give up. Sometimes, there are just too many things to think about. I'm stressed out. I know.. relax. Yeah, i try; believe me. I just want to get away from everything. I want to be free, i want to forget, and i want to stop thinking.. at least just for a moment. You know what, i want to be able to truly trust someone. It's not that i don't, but you can never be sure. Some say not to trust anyone, but i believe they are just insecure and small-minded. There is always someone out there that is willing to listen, you just have to find them.

I'm also sick of people who think they have the authority to judge someone. Hey, we may not look or act like you, but it doesn't mean you can be a stuck up jerk. Ever seen someone stare at you in the weirdest way or hear them talk about you behind your back? Yeah, i have, and let me tell you.. i just want to punch them in the face so they can wake up to themselves. You don't judge someone just because they are having fun or decide to do something that you don't think is "cool". These jerks only do this because they're jealous that they don't have a life like yours. Get real, live your life while you still can.

Don't you just wish that you could tell anyone everything? I mean, there's lots of things i could go on about - some secrets too. But i choose not to because honestly, I'm worried about what people would think of me. No, I'm not cowardly. Would you reveal everything about yourself on a blog? No. So don't even start. Like i was saying.. I really need to get things off my mind, but i don't know how or who to tell. .__. I like to think of myself as weird, yet wonderful ^^ However or whatever your opinion is about me.. i don't mind, just as long as i don't catch onto it.

I'm really not expecting any, but if you would like to leave your 'opinion' about me in the comments, that's okay - Just as long as they don't kill me inside - like some people have already done.

Toodles.

The big question.

Yesterday, along with about 8 other people, i went ice skating. It was heaps of fun seeing as i actually know how to ice skate. The let down was the people who failed to come, and the gay music they played. Now the painful part was stacking it twice - getting a lump on my ankle and a bruise on my knee. D: When it was time to go home, Zoe's parents picked us up, and i slept over her house. It was totally fun and hilarious. The next day, me and Zoe went bowling - and of course i won. (122 points) :D

Ice skating was good, but the other people there kinda sucked. The first time i stacked it, these stupid tarts just skate past me laughing.. only to find themselves on the floor later on. - Sweethearts, it's called Karma.
Oh and i also had a 'blush moment' when a guy accidentally rode into me and said "Sorry beautiful" -Like wow. That's probably the nicest thing a cute stranger could say. I don't mean to make a big fuss about it but come on, you don't hear that everyday.

Anyway, somethings have me thinking and questioning.
Not that I'm in love or anything, but what does 'love' and 'like' actually mean? People use this phrase very often, and I'm getting sick of it. How do you know that what you're feeling is true? Should everyone automatically love someone? It seriously confuses me.

To answer this question i googled it. This is an advice column:

Well when you like someone, it's usually the funny fireworks or nervous feelings you get. You could think about them all the time and or be shy around them - they are crushes, it happens all the time. Although it is possible to grow a crush or friendship into a relationship, it just takes time. If you don't know them all that well, you have to talk to them and get to know them better. Most of all, they have to like you back.

Love is when you've found a million things inside that person that you know you can't find anywhere else. You have real, substantial conversations all the time that bring you closer together. You respect each other and want to spend time together and make sacrifices. You have common values, not just interests, and you both want to grow and be better people for the other person. It's not always totally logical... you could meet someone who seems perfect for you, but they never really inspire you or capture your interest. It can also be misleading, because you could just think someones really hot, or they may have a nice body, and you want to be around them but that's not love - it's lust. It's a mix of solid ground and unexplainable clouds that you get to, and people say you'll know it when it hits you but I'm not so sure about that, I think it hits you first, then you wake up and realise it, but it's different for everyone, you'll have to find it in your own journey.

I'm sure after reading this you will understand, much like i have.

Oh great, now I'm going to look like a horror movie. I have mascara on (I've been out today) and my eyes are watery from writing and editing this damn thing.
Toodles.

Twitter.

The conversation Karina and I had yesterday-
(9:51 PM) My guilty pleasure:
My new saying: seriously, if you like twitter, i hate you.
do u like twitter?
(9:52 PM) - karina:
eww
i heard ******* does though..he even has his own account that he twitters on
(9:52 PM) My guilty pleasure:
*disgusted look on face*
(9:52 PM) - karina:
you are talking about the one on the net right?
(9:52 PM) My guilty pleasure:
dirty son of a bi---
(9:52 PM) - karina:
not the "zoe" one?
(9:52 PM) My guilty pleasure:
huuh?
zoe one?
(9:53 PM) - karina:
twitter time..
(9:53 PM) My guilty pleasure:
thats not "zoes" and no, not that one.
actual twitter.
(9:54 PM) My guilty pleasure:
i hate it..
i loathe it.
(9:54 PM) My guilty pleasure:
i hate and loathe anyone that dares to go on it.
(9:54 PM) My guilty pleasure:
it is a complete and total waste of time.
anyway, who designs a webstie after a dumb bird?
(9:56 PM) My guilty pleasure:
..and is so stupid, they name it something with the past tense word - twat D:
(9:56 PM) My guilty pleasure:
it's just a lame excuse to start a gay trend.
(9:57 PM) - karina:
lol
(9:58 PM) My guilty pleasure:
i feel for the mindless people who fall victim to the 'twit' trap.
(9:58 PM) My guilty pleasure:
i really do.
(9:59 PM) - karina:
yeah

Wouldn't you agree?
Toodles.

Changing for the better.

We laugh at something, not always because it's simply funny, but because we hide the truth. Happiness doesn't cue questions; where as misery asks for answers. So you act with glee. You don't like to tell people what is really going on - they don't understand.

Life has it's ups and downs. Unfortunately some people are stuck with the mishaps. It can be hard to deal with certain events at rather unpleasant times. Usually when something bad happens, you would turn to those close. But what if they don't care.. or they don't get what you're trying to say? You just have to live with it. Sometimes there isn't a happy ending.

Memories - there are the good ones; while some can have you in tears. It's not necessarily the bad ones i despise, but the loved ones. I remember what life used to be like, i also know that i can't have any of it back. Yet you should never regret anything you do, because everything happens for a reason. Paths lead to new possibilities, some which you may never have considered. I guess that's what life is about.. changing for the better, and finding that someone.

Toodles.

Hopeless.

Yesterday was sooooooo supercalafrikenawesome! I went go-karting at this place about an hour away from here. The race track was massive-veeery long. We raced for two fifteen minute intervals. I GOT TO WEAR A MOTORBIKE HELMET; LOOOL. On the track i thought i was going to die ROFL - i spun out and did a 360 twice. I also crashed into the tires and fence twice.. but that didn't stop me. :D

Awww, why does school have to be tomorrow? I want the holidays to be now. ): I want to sit back, relax and SLEEEP. I bet when the holidays do come, they will go so quick you wouldn't even notice them. I wish they went for like 4 weeks instead .___.

I think im going to fall asleep right about now.. i did six and a half pages of maths homework. -it may be because i have slightly bigger writing, but meh.

Toodles.

Karma.

Omfg, i stayed up all night to finish history, only to find the teacher decides not to show up to class. ==

I finished the damn assignment at 2am this morning and i woke up at 6am this morning. Four short hours to sleep. I can tell you, that REALLY sucked. I was excited that i had finished - you know, that feeling of success and accomplishment.. but NO. We find out that our history teacher is at the binishell watching the pirates thing. I bet it was because i left it to the last minute; and because i worked so hard on it, someone up there thought it would be hilarious if we actually didn't need to do it. D:<

Well i have to go now because Rachel is going to pick me up in 20minutes - we are going to the Pirates thing. :D LOOL, "pirates thing." - don't ask.
Toodles.

Dead and Gone.

I am so tired it's not funny. It's 12:30am and i am currently in the middle of my history assignment. D:<

Yeah, about the title - my back is dead and my head has gone to sleep. I really really really just want to go to sleep, but i can't. *yawn* You know what, im wasting my time on this when i could be working. I hate you blog. O;

OH how ironic, yeah - i just remembered my last entry. "It's due on friday and frankly i cbf doing it last minute again." T________T

well SHUTUP! D:

Toodles.

Rough patch.

Owwww, stupid damn rigged basketball. D:
Today i was chosen along with many other people as a ROO for the Roos and roaches teams. The game is basketball as you may know and today we did some training. Just as we were in a practice game.. guess what happens.. i sprain my middle finger. ==' -Like wtf? WHY?! I love basketball, but that killed my day. (it's going to take me ages to write this all)

Anyways, in Outdoor Education, we got to make fire. * hehe * Apart from the dirty stick collecting, it was fun. Tiffanie and I built an awesome teepee.. only to find it was too high, so we tore it down and started again. An hour later we get the OK to start the fire.. and minutes later it was ALIVE. :D People huddled around our fire, and Andy being so jealous - he tried (yet failed) to put out our fire with little splashes of water, LOL.

Well i guess i should get back to my history assignment. It's due on friday and frankly i cbf doing it last minute again. ><
Toodles.

Peace, Serenity.

Lets put it this way -

I feel like shit. NO, i do NOT have swine flu you immature assholes. I am so fed up with people and how funny they think swine flu is. This thing can KILL people and all you want to do is make fun of it? Seriously, i am over that stage. * rolls eyes *

Right now i am enjoying peace and quiet. n__n

My brother is at a birthday/sleepover thing. So he can't possibly annoy me. The only bad thing is it lasts for just 2 days. * sigh *

Can't wait til the holidays! I'm going to go out like everyday. * cough * -I'll try anyways. Well right about now a few friends and i are trying to organise a 'primary school reunion' -which i am totally thrilled about. Although most people i see at school everyday may be going, it's the few people i don't see or regularly talk to who i am excited to meet.

I want to go to the movies! I want to see Year 1, and i want to see it now! LOL. Well I'm serious. Maybe next week. -Far too much shit going on right now and plenty of impossible homework to do. :

Toodles.

Just Dandy.

Oh my gosh. Seriously - FUCK maths. I am currently lost and very totally confused. I need a tutor. D:< Help me?

Right now, Alice and I are looking for a basketball team/association to join. We love basketball. Lets hope we find one. * crosses fingers * We can get pretty competitive in basketball, but whether we push each other down, poke our eyes out or sprain an ankle.. basketball is always fun. :D Alice you rock!

I am so excited right now.. Lazer tag on Sunday! Plenty of people will be there. -the girls will triumph over the boys! (hopefully) I just wish Maddie, Karina and Zoe could go .__.
-Alice i swear if you don't change your mind about going.. I'll.. MISS YOU! D:

* sigh * Well i have to go now, it's 11:30pm and i have to wake up at 8am tomorrow. Rachel is picking me up at 8:30am - we're going to the blue mountains! Far out, it's going to be bloody freezing..
CIAO.

Life without friendship would be unbearable.

I have learned to put things behind me and continue with my life. Yes, people may have hurt me in the past, but that's no match to what the future holds. -And I have found my future. It's absolutely astonishing. The amazing friends i have, the amount of support they give and the sights i see.. are breathtaking. I can not imagine my life without the people i love today.

I would like to give my gratitude to my wonderful best friend Zoe. She has always been there for me, no matter rain or shine. She has a heart of gold; and along with Maddie and Karina, continuous loving support and endless friendship. You guys mean so much to me, and always will. I may not have mentioned my many other magnificent friends, but to just let you all know- I LOVE YOU!

Anywho; my life is beginning to run on track. Unwanted things have been thrown out, and new things have been brought in. Life is actually enjoyable now. -I am smiling as i write this, which feels great. Since making this blog.. i feel somewhat relieved and calm. Everything just flows smoothly and naturally.

The only thing ruining life right now is homework. Why does it have to exist? -Probably because teachers want you to have a more miserable weekend than them, but who really knows? I just wish it would go away - but that's my point.. the 'reality of desire' is it won't. It adds on so much stress, that stress itself would need a whole new meaning.

But to end on a more uhh positive note, Rove was great ~ Danni Devito.. please stop drinking, and next time you intend on making an appearance on a morning show, don't make a perverted joke towards the host..

CIAO.

The harshness of it all.

Why people these days intend on making other individuals' lives hell? i have no idea. No matter how hard you try to avoid these kinds of people, you will always come across them. I mean, even if you don't deserve to be treated like a piece of shit, you will be. I do believe in Karma, it's just that it doesn't always appear to work.

You see- my life recently hasn't been going so tremendous. It has been about certain judgement, loss and choice. All which i despise. Everything from friends to family and prices to pain.. i've endured it all. It's hard, and i know that many others have felt what i have, so don't read this pretending like you don't care.

You know what; i'm sick and tired of people telling me that everything's going to be okay. Because we all know that the harsh reality is- that it's not okay, and nor will it be anytime soon. I respect that people try to make me feel better, but really.. telling me that i 'shouldn't worry' or 'not care' will not make everything disappear. I just need you to listen. I honestly don't need a cheesy remark. Everyone will experience this at some point, so when you need a shoulder to cry on, turn to someone you trust. If it's not the right person, they can end up stabbing you in the back when you least expect it and when you least need it.

CIAO.